Top Ten Things Our Kids Need to Know for Life

     

    From the moment we first see them, hold them, study those tiny fingers and toes, and wonder in amazement at the sheer miracle God has created...our children have our hearts. We are simultaneously in love and completely overwhelmed by the enormous responsibility. It is both a monumental task we've been given and a great privilege. Every stage is fraught with challenges, along with moments of unspeakable joy. 
    None of us get this parenting thing right all the time. There are definitely days and seasons when we've probably all  thought that maybe we should just run away and join the circus, where they could sell tickets to come and see us as "The World's Worst Parent." So please know that it is not with a prideful parenting "I have it all right and you should parent like I do" perspective that I share this post with you, but simply one of a mom who has made plenty of mistakes and will probably make plenty more. It is from a heart that, by the grace of God, is still learning how to love her children wisely, how to see them with the perspective God wants us to have for their lives...all the while knowing that they are really His and He is only giving me the privilege of teaching them Who He wants to be in their lives. 

    So here are the ten things I have found to be hugely beneficial in my children's lives...

1) Know your identity. Everyone else may be trying to figure out who they are in things like popularity, boys, academics, sports, etc. Remember that you already have the most important identity. You don't need to look anywhere else for that. You have been found. You are His daughter or son and you are loved for eternity. Nothing and no one can change that. 

2) Seeking perfection will leave you exhausted, frustrated and anxious. God sees you perfect already, because He sees you through Christ. Do your best and leave the rest to Him. There is great peace in this. 

3) Don't compare yourself to others. If you see yourself as better than they are, you will be prideful. If you see yourself as lesser, then you will be defeated and depressed. Let Christ be the only One to Whom you look for inspiration and emulation.

4) Don't copy the things of this world. Get to know Christ, so that you can live and love like Him. 

5) Happiness and joy are not the same thing. Happiness is circumstantial. Circumstances change. One day people like you, the next day they may not. Joy comes from within, it is not based on things happening around you. It is a product of a grateful life focused on Who God is and who you are in His eyes. Practice gratitude and you will find joy. 

6) You have a choice to make in the trials of life. People will betray you, there will be times you fail, your heart will be broken. Your choices will determine if these difficulties will make you better or bitter. Remember that God is just as faithful in the valley as He is on the mountaintop...choose to run toward Him, not from Him. It is not a guarantee that the circumstances will change, but YOU will be changed to be more like Christ. 

7) Remember that EVERY person is made in God's Image. Value them as God does, respect them, love them, be kind to them...treat them as you would want to be treated. 

8) All rules, from God and your parents, are given from the love they have for you. Think about what Christ did for you, because He loves you...let that inspire your own obedience.

9) All choices have consequences. The choices that reflect your desire to live like Christ will produce more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control in you. The choices that are based on what the world would tell you or on your own selfish desires, will increase a heavy burden for you that will weigh your life down. 

10) The secret to loving others, is living loved by God. If you only love others based on whether you think that they deserve your love, you will are forgetting that "yet, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." People can be hard to love sometimes, but so can each of us. God never stops loving you. Who are you to do any less?

     As parents, our lives speak more loudly than our words...our walk must match our talk. So look at the list again. Are there any of these you may need to grow in with God's help? 
    Thankfully, God doesn't expect us to be perfect parents. He simply wants us to teach our children to know that they were created for, and are loved immeasurably by, the only perfect Parent. 

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ~Dueteronomy 6:5-7

Two Roads

    Relief is the road we most often want to take. It is easy to find, it is a quick fix and it is comes from somewhere outside of our own heart... but it never lasts. When trials and suffering grip us and threaten to take us under, relief whispers to our soul, "I am what you need." Relief is that shortcut we want to take, leaving us on the side of the road, never realizing how close we came to somewhere so much better. Relief tricks us into thinking that it has brought us joy, when in reality it has fooled us into settling for a cheap substitute...momentary happiness. Joy lives further down the street. But we can only find her when we keep going. When we wade through the muck and the fog and persevere. So how do we know when we have found change and not relief?

Because change

....is hard work  

....always includes a willingness to be honest and accept responsibility for our part 

....comes when our hearts are truly grieved, not just sorry we got caught

....means looking at the difficult and the deep

...takes time

.... lasts

....brings joy even if the circumstances and people around you may stay the same

....is motivated and empowered by the love, sacrifice and grace given to us in Christ 

When we choose change, instead of relief, God's love changes us. The more we understand and accept His love, grace and truth the more we are not just changed, we are transformed. It is a lifelong journey. As real heart change comes, the more we become like Christ. Not just a temporary quick fix, short-lived happiness will be ours...but a deep abiding joy that lasts...no matter what may come. 

    These are the two roads. All of us stand at the crossroads many times in our lives. So which road will you take? The choice is yours...