Top Ten Things Our Kids Need to Know for Life

     

    From the moment we first see them, hold them, study those tiny fingers and toes, and wonder in amazement at the sheer miracle God has created...our children have our hearts. We are simultaneously in love and completely overwhelmed by the enormous responsibility. It is both a monumental task we've been given and a great privilege. Every stage is fraught with challenges, along with moments of unspeakable joy. 
    None of us get this parenting thing right all the time. There are definitely days and seasons when we've probably all  thought that maybe we should just run away and join the circus, where they could sell tickets to come and see us as "The World's Worst Parent." So please know that it is not with a prideful parenting "I have it all right and you should parent like I do" perspective that I share this post with you, but simply one of a mom who has made plenty of mistakes and will probably make plenty more. It is from a heart that, by the grace of God, is still learning how to love her children wisely, how to see them with the perspective God wants us to have for their lives...all the while knowing that they are really His and He is only giving me the privilege of teaching them Who He wants to be in their lives. 

    So here are the ten things I have found to be hugely beneficial in my children's lives...

1) Know your identity. Everyone else may be trying to figure out who they are in things like popularity, boys, academics, sports, etc. Remember that you already have the most important identity. You don't need to look anywhere else for that. You have been found. You are His daughter or son and you are loved for eternity. Nothing and no one can change that. 

2) Seeking perfection will leave you exhausted, frustrated and anxious. God sees you perfect already, because He sees you through Christ. Do your best and leave the rest to Him. There is great peace in this. 

3) Don't compare yourself to others. If you see yourself as better than they are, you will be prideful. If you see yourself as lesser, then you will be defeated and depressed. Let Christ be the only One to Whom you look for inspiration and emulation.

4) Don't copy the things of this world. Get to know Christ, so that you can live and love like Him. 

5) Happiness and joy are not the same thing. Happiness is circumstantial. Circumstances change. One day people like you, the next day they may not. Joy comes from within, it is not based on things happening around you. It is a product of a grateful life focused on Who God is and who you are in His eyes. Practice gratitude and you will find joy. 

6) You have a choice to make in the trials of life. People will betray you, there will be times you fail, your heart will be broken. Your choices will determine if these difficulties will make you better or bitter. Remember that God is just as faithful in the valley as He is on the mountaintop...choose to run toward Him, not from Him. It is not a guarantee that the circumstances will change, but YOU will be changed to be more like Christ. 

7) Remember that EVERY person is made in God's Image. Value them as God does, respect them, love them, be kind to them...treat them as you would want to be treated. 

8) All rules, from God and your parents, are given from the love they have for you. Think about what Christ did for you, because He loves you...let that inspire your own obedience.

9) All choices have consequences. The choices that reflect your desire to live like Christ will produce more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control in you. The choices that are based on what the world would tell you or on your own selfish desires, will increase a heavy burden for you that will weigh your life down. 

10) The secret to loving others, is living loved by God. If you only love others based on whether you think that they deserve your love, you will are forgetting that "yet, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." People can be hard to love sometimes, but so can each of us. God never stops loving you. Who are you to do any less?

     As parents, our lives speak more loudly than our words...our walk must match our talk. So look at the list again. Are there any of these you may need to grow in with God's help? 
    Thankfully, God doesn't expect us to be perfect parents. He simply wants us to teach our children to know that they were created for, and are loved immeasurably by, the only perfect Parent. 

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ~Dueteronomy 6:5-7

Two Roads

    Relief is the road we most often want to take. It is easy to find, it is a quick fix and it is comes from somewhere outside of our own heart... but it never lasts. When trials and suffering grip us and threaten to take us under, relief whispers to our soul, "I am what you need." Relief is that shortcut we want to take, leaving us on the side of the road, never realizing how close we came to somewhere so much better. Relief tricks us into thinking that it has brought us joy, when in reality it has fooled us into settling for a cheap substitute...momentary happiness. Joy lives further down the street. But we can only find her when we keep going. When we wade through the muck and the fog and persevere. So how do we know when we have found change and not relief?

Because change

....is hard work  

....always includes a willingness to be honest and accept responsibility for our part 

....comes when our hearts are truly grieved, not just sorry we got caught

....means looking at the difficult and the deep

...takes time

.... lasts

....brings joy even if the circumstances and people around you may stay the same

....is motivated and empowered by the love, sacrifice and grace given to us in Christ 

When we choose change, instead of relief, God's love changes us. The more we understand and accept His love, grace and truth the more we are not just changed, we are transformed. It is a lifelong journey. As real heart change comes, the more we become like Christ. Not just a temporary quick fix, short-lived happiness will be ours...but a deep abiding joy that lasts...no matter what may come. 

    These are the two roads. All of us stand at the crossroads many times in our lives. So which road will you take? The choice is yours...

A New Season...

      I've always cherished the change of seasons...the excitement of what's to come, the freshness, the possibilities and potential for what lies veiled and just around the bend. 
     So it is with our lives. Seasons end...children grow up, people move, jobs change. The world seems to never stay the same for long. Inevitably there are transitions. Transitional times are our most vulnerable times. We can feel off balance and uncertain. Our souls long for assurance that our future is safe. As a good friend told me recently, "Our unknown future is safe in the hands of an Almighty God." So what do we do in this meantime? How do we take a step by step walk of faith, when our vision is still unclear? 
   One of my favorite passages in Scripture is in the Book of Joshua. In Joshua 3, the Isrealites have been in the desert for 40 years after their rescue from slavery in Egypt. With every step they've taken on their journey, God Himself has taught them daily to trust in His faithful provision and protection. At this point in the story, they are camped on the banks of the Jordan River, on the verge of entering The Promised Land. It is so close, they can feel it. Yet, there are specific instructions that God gives His people as they sit at this place of transition...it is a word for them to trust, it is a word for all of us to follow.


"After three days the officers went throughout the camp, giving orders to the people: 'When you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God, and the Levitical priests carrying it, you are to move out from your positions and follow it. Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before. But keep a distance of about two thousand cubits between you and the ark; do not go near it.'
Joshua told the people, 'Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.'
Joshua said to the priests, 'Take up the ark of the covenant and pass on ahead of the people.' So they took it up and went ahead of them."~Joshua 3:2-5

(emphasis mine)

    God's instructions are timeless in this passage:
1) We must be ready to move when He says move. We must be alert and ready to follow Him. Notice that this ability to move and follow have come from a long season of growing trust...trust that has been shaped into faith by the hands of God.
2) We must "consecrate" ourselves to Him. That word means that we are to be set apart for Him, for His purposes. If we are to enter our "promised land," then we cannot follow the ways of the world, we must be different...we speak, we act, we choose, we love in a way that reflects God to the world. 
3) We must wait for His lead. Sometimes this is the hardest part. We can see where we want to go..."just let me run on over there"..."I can get there on my own."  But when we run ahead of God, we are essentially saying that we want to take control, that we don't trust His timing or His sovereignty. And often we end up tripping or falling in our mad rush to make things happen the way we want. 

When we follow His ways, there are sweet promises for the season to come! "You will know which way to go", even if it is somewhere you've never been before and "the Lord will do amazing things among you." 

So, if you are like me, in a transitional season...filled with a strange mixture of excitement and uncertainty...remember how much you can trust Him. He WILL lead you to the places He has for you, so be ready, stay close and don't run ahead...He has amazing things coming for you and me!

Misplaced Trust

    

     Have you ever placed your trust in someone or something only to find yourself empty handed or heartbroken? Perhaps the one you're putting your trust in is yourself, living with the anxiety and worry of being your own all in all...your own version of perfect? Has this endless striving left you exhausted and depleted? 

    If you read this and think, "That's MY story!" know that you are not alone. Most of us, at some point in time, put our trust, and consequently our hope, in the wrong place. So how in the world do we know where to put our trust? And how do we do that, so that we can have that peace and contentment for which we are so desperately longing? Is there really a place where...
There is no fear?
There is protection?
There is great reward?
The answer to all three is, "YES!" 

But there is only one place you can find it and it is NOT in...

~a dating relationship
~a friendship
~a perfect job
~good grades
~popularity
~how many twitter followers you have
~Facebook or Instagram "likes"
~the right college
~your bank account
~model-like looks
~trendy clothes 
~the stuff you have
~the car you drive
~your spouse
~religion 

None of these will ALWAYS satisfy you. Perhaps you may find temporary happiness, but eventually, no matter how great they may seem, you will be left disappointed, betrayed or even abandoned. 
That is because as good and beautiful as some of these things may seem, they were NEVER designed to fill the place in your heart or life that is only reserved for God.
A genuine, life-giving relationship with Him through faith in Christ is the ONLY place where our trust should be. 
That being said, why are so many of us, as believers, still struggling with the chains of worry, the fears of failure, discouragement and disappointment? 
Because faith is not a "one-time deal." It is not, "I believe in Christ for my eternal salvation, but I'm going to rely on other people, things or myself for my earthly happiness." That is where we truly miss out! Instead, it is a DAILY, sometimes moment by moment, SURRENDERING. When you CHOOSE to develop a closer relationship with Him, when you daily spend time with Him, through Scripture and prayer, worshipping Him and placing your heart in His hands...then and only then will you begin to grow in your love for Him, then you will know just how trustworthy He is! When your focus is His love you...you can't help but grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control(Galatians 5:16-26)! There is not one other thing that you can place your trust in that will ALWAYS grow you in these attributes... and who doesn't want and need more of these? 
    So, instead of looking to anything else to place your trust in and fill your heart, begin getting to know Him. Just like any relationship, it won't happen overnight, but with every step you take and the more you begin to turn to Him, you will know that having a deep, abiding relationship with the Creator of all things is the ONLY safe place to put your trust. 

It Matters Where You Pitch Your Tent

      

     Any of you who saw my Facebook comments on the Grammy's last night, know how disturbed I was by them. I finally had to stop watching what was a sad depiction of where we are culturally and what we are glorifying as a society. The reality of how lost so many people are is no more evident anywhere than much of what is depicted in Hollywood and transported into our homes via the media. The cumulative, detrimental effect on our children is profoundly heartbreaking in so many ways.
   With this still very fresh in my mind, I sat down to spend my morning time with God, praying for His insight. I believe it was no accident, that in my reading through Genesis, I found myself at this story today...

 There were once two men, an older man and a younger. After traveling together for many days and weeks, it soon became apparent that the time had come for them to part ways. They were to settle in two different places. The older man, out of generosity, gave the younger man the first choice of which land he'd like to make his home. The younger man looked up and saw what seemed to be the most lush land, so he chose that for himself. He and his family departed and chose to settle near the city that was in this land. It was a city in which people lived merely for themselves and their own pleasures. Because of this, it was known to be a dark and dangerous place. But he didn't see the evil, he chose to see the pleasure and he wanted this for himself. There, he pitched his tent. 
      The older man chose to see things through God's eyes, therefore, his priorities were different. He recognized the protection and provision that comes from worshipping the Creator, instead of the created. He pitched his tent away from the city and all the evil that lurked there. He honored God with his life and his choices. 

    So how did the story end? 
As, you may know, from reading Genesis 19, there were catastrophic consequnces for the younger man, Lot. He lost his wife, his home, and all of his possessions. He barely escaped Sodom and Gomorrah with his life. The immoral influence had become embedded in his heart and in the hearts of his descendants for generations to come.
The older  man, Abraham, stayed in close relationship with God. He and his decsendants prospered. In giving God his heart, Abraham and his descendants were blessed in immeasurable ways. 

In this ancient story, there are many parallels with where we are today. May we learn these lessons for ourselves and share them with those we love, because...

 It matters who you surround yourself with. 

 It matters what your priorities are. 

 It matters what choices you make. 

 It matters where your heart dwells.

 It matters where you pitch your tent. 

Honor God with your choices. Honor God with your life.





   

The Heart Behind the Badge

            This day marks my husband's retirement from  28 years in law enforcement.  We have been married almost 25 of those years. It seems cliche to say it, but I will anyway...he is my hero. 

      Many times, especially at the beginning of our marriage, I feared for his safety, yet he walked with unexplainable bravery.  His passion never waned for the duty he felt called to perform. His ability to face emotionally charged situations with unwavering calm, his commitment to integrity no matter the situation, his endless concern for the good of others, are just a few of the things that have painted a priceless portrait of a godly man of courage for me and our children. He has taught me much about trusting in the Lord’s will and protection and living each day to it’s fullest. A man of few words, whose life has spoken much. His life has been lived through his actions, speaking silently of... 

                                        

                The Heart Behind the Badge

To the world you may have appeared to have a tough exterior or a quiet solitude, but I know the heart behind the badge. 

Together we have lived the ups and downs, the highs and lows, that only those behind the badge and those whose hearts they hold really know....

~I have seen the way your heart has been transformed by the surrendering. The laying down of your life each morning at the feet of God Himself. 

I have watched with grateful eyes how you always start your days with coffee and Christ, praying for His leading that you may lead us in His ways. Seeing the man He has made you over the days and years has been what makes me love you most. 

~I know the heart that I have placed my trust in for 25 years. That you have held my trust like precious glass, always careful to keep it unbroken, do you know what that has meant to me? 

~I know a heart that has written countless notes of love and encouragement, never failing to speak those 3 words to me every day.  All the "I love you’s" add up, you know. They’ve had the power to shape me into a wife who is secure in the place she holds in your heart... never having to fear your leaving or straying. Do you know what a priceless gift that peace has been in my heart? The freedom it has given me?  

~I know the heart that loves our children. I have seen the way you have cradled them, kissed their boo-boos, corrected their wanderings and set them on the path of life. The quiet way you have provided them with your strength and security, always pointing them, with your life, to the One Who is your source of strength. 

~I see the way your heart can be melted by their smiles...the way your loving them is teaching them to love others. 

~And I have seen the heart that loves the broken, the hurting and the lost. It is at the core of who you are and what you do. I have seen your life poured out for the hundreds of teenage faces through decades of youth ministry and missions. I know the impact you have made on the hearts and lives of those young people...who have learned and seen in you what being a man of courage really means. 

~I have watched your passion to share God’s plan for marriage with couples and other men. I know the heart that goes the extra mile to pour into those men and women, so that the legacy they leave will speak of the sacrificial love of Christ for generations to come. Do you know how this grows my love for you to even greater depths? 

~I have seen the tears you shed over fellow officers who have been hurt or killed. The overwhelming heartbreak I dare not imagine for too long.

~There is a  sweet grace in living with a man who is daily willing to lay down his own life for not only me and our family, but for our neighbors, our friends, and even strangers.

When most people look at you, they see a police officer...they see tough, they see brave, they see strong...but I see so much more. I see the heart behind the badge...and I am blessed to know that such a heart belongs to me. 

I love you my husband. You will forever be my hero. 

Transformed by the Light

                                                               

        Black night fills my window panes, 

awaiting the new day's dawn.

Sleep deprived eyes fumble for the morning coffee.

Head down, making my way toward the window,

I look out.

A small gasp escapes my lips 

at the breathtaking beauty,

majesty ushered in.

Only moments ago,

where clouds were hidden in darkness,

the sun's colors

are now painted on their faces...

vibrant pinks,

 radiant oranges,

deep purples and blues,

reflections of what waits just below the horizen,

soon to burst forth.

Transformed by the light...what was once dark and hidden, 

has become a masterpiece.

Behold, He is making all things new.

With each new dawn, there is this hope-filled promise

for you and for me. 

Like the clouds once enveloped in darkness, 

we too, wait for the Son, 

drawing us closer to His love.

And as He does,

our lives suddenly burst forth 

with

 His magnificent beauty,

hearts singing with vibrant joy,

drawing deep from His Living water,

radiating His glory.

When the Master Painter looks at your heart today, may it be Christ's beautiful love that He sees reflected.

 This will be what draws the world to 

want to know Him.

How can they know Him if they can't see Him and how will they see Him if we don't show them?

Let the world see a beautiful reflection of the Son today...let it be what takes their breath away.

         And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. ~2 Corinthians 3:18